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Sure, Pikachu, Charmander, and the gang are all nice and cute when they're small, but have you ever stopped to imagine what the world would look like if Pokémon were Godzilla-sized? Well, we imagined it for you. The word Pokémon is short for "pocket monster," and kaiju is Japanese for "strange creature" and is used to describe giant monsters, famous in Japanese cinema. (Also, what else were we supposed to do while waiting for the release of Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby?)
Here are some posters featuring six classic Pokémon from the original 150 in the style of old-fashioned kaiju monster movie posters. Each poster includes a full-sized version and a hi-res PDF file so you can print out your favorites for your walls at home.
Pikachu
Pikachu, the most famous of all Pokémon, also has the potential to be the most deadly. The havoc that electric-type 'mon would wreak on a city is quite terrifying to picture: mass transit would be shut down, all power sources would be rendered useless, lightning storms would completely destroy buildings and roadways. Just a piercing "Pika-Pi!" would echo through the air before the crack of thunder would explode.
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Charizard
Speaking of destructive, Charmander's final evolution, Charizard, would be a hot mess to deal with if he were to let lose on a city. A little Flamethrower, a little Inferno, and a town would be laid to a fiery waste in a matter of a few seconds. This flying Pokémon totally reminded us of Rodan, one of Godzilla's good pals.
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Butterfree
When we came up with the idea to make Pokémon/Godzilla mashup posters, we knew that we had to represent Mothra, and, clearly, that Pokémon would be Butterfree. Those dead, bug eyes. Those little fangs and tiny blue hands. The Pokédex states that Butterfree's wings have toxic dust, which is released when it flaps its wings. Now imagine a butterfly the size of a football field coasting over your town. We'd say that would make a pretty great monster movie.
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Blastoise
We have a soft spot for Blastoise. Maybe it's because Squirtle was the cutest starter in the first Pokémon video games. Maybe it's because Blastoise reminds us of our very favorite kaiju - the lovable flying turtle, Gamera. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because he still looks so friendly and cute even while he's as tall as a skyscraper, causing mass hysteria and irrepairable damage. (Sidenote: how awesome would a kaiju-sized Squirtle Squad be? OMG.)
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Dodrio
Three heads are scarier than one, it's a scientific fact. Cerberus, the mythological dog, stayed triple-alert while guarding the gates of Hades. Ghidorah, the tri-topped dragon kaiju, proved to be a formidable opponent for Godzilla. Dodrio seems to fit right in. Evolved from Doduo, since only two heads is laughable, Dodrio relies on its beaks to cause damage and can rotate sleep between the three brains so part of its mind is always alert. Chilling.
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Grimer
Lastly, our final classic movie monster poster features Grimer, one of the grossest Pokémon of all time. Here are some facts from the poison-type's Pokédex entry. One: wherever Grimer has passed, so many germs are left behind that no plants will ever grow again. Two: it thrives by sucking up polluted sludge that is pumped out of factories. Three: these Pokémon now gather in polluted places and increase the bacteria in their bodies. Gross, gross, and double-gross. This is why Grimer is the perfect homage to the Smog Monster, Hedorah, a really nasty kaiju.
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Hopefully this helps satiate your Poké-cravings until the new 3DS game is in your hands. We could spend all day coming up with these posters, though! Imagine a super-sized Gyarados emerging from the ocean to destroy a fleet of ships. Or maybe a psychic Mewtwo turning on a metropolis, moving cars, trees, and other debris, with his mind. If we expanded this to all 719 Pokémon in the National Dex, well ... like we said, we could be here all day. Which Pokémon would you like to see in a monster movie? Let us know in the comments!
